"You still haven't told me what we're doing out here." Maybe I want to know but its just as likely that the answer will bore me. Maybe it just flat out doesn't matter. My toes are cold and that blanket draped over my head has that odd mix of damp and freezing that normally only happens after a rainstorm in mid-July to August. I don't see how you can stand to be laying on your stomach. The roof of our building is mildly filthy. To the point where you could make constellations out of the worn and bleached patches of gum.
tonight I will fall
asleep in the vineyard while
my hair is still damp
from kissing you in
the river.
The Rhine: 'I want to
swim down the center of it
and not know if the
water I'm drinking is französisch
or allemande'
you stated.
I don't write about
you to stop from glorifying you.
the way you laugh
when my hands start shaking.
I tell you how fond I am of empires.
I want you to baptize
me king in the red and white
wines of the coronation fountain.
we don't have a language.
we are a language.
'knight' is a synonym
for 'always drowning'
and when I come to
bed I breathe in wheat
instead of grapes from you.
tonight
when i start to
crave the classics i
begin to worry.
it's a mood that finds me
finding beauty in a
bathtub drowning.
knee bruises, blue.
cuticles, blue.
The Emperor Waltz left me
deaf, underwater.
our sheets feel like
the back garden now while
i put those nerves
to rest.
after all, i am still
trying to convince you
i'm a butterfly.
i'll never fly again
if you touch me
now, kiss me now.
but i watch our toes
tangle at the end
of the bed now.
maybe because i
love a good lie.
gently you insist to
me that we are not
butterflies, though i never
said you were one.
gently you insist to
me that we are hooded,
carrion cr
yesterday, around midday,
i hid in your closest full
of linen, Russian bears,
German eagles.
this is how i know it
was you who put
the butterfly
ornaments on the battlefield.
and this
is how i know 'without worries'
makes you cry.
The night is hot-
my cigarettes are lit
here's to hoping the
radio remembers the
west
before its too late
before satellite dishes
will be parachutes used
to bomb
'die Kapitalisten'
in this ugly city
where my grandfather
spat at stones for a
living
we're stuck in
marching time
in '89
we are stuck
with little ghosts
and aluminum change
but tonight i
know we're tearing
down that wall just
to feel good.
---Is That There Are No Herring Here Or There.
1.
--There's nothing out there. He says to me. And I look at him as though he is stupid. Maybe not stupid. Maybe that is too harsh. But I do not look at him as though he knows entirely what is going on.
-- What do you mean? I ask. Oh how silly of me to always ask. Because when do I ever get an answer?
-- I mean, there is nothing out there. And this he repeats stubbornly as though I am the stupid one, not him. But he is really. He's the stupid one with a head full of nonsense and stupid ideas that will not get him anywhere. That is really why I fell in love him. I think that is th
there is a place off the
Baltic coast with
grey green sand or
green grey sand
and here you take
what makes me inside
here you paint me red
or jealous
and here you steal
my chemosynthesis
and this is how
the dialect dies
the walls teach me
where the paint goes
if i'm honest
i was brutally honest
with my coffee this morning
this is when the
kidney lines up with the
liver and
we fit together
i am at a loss for imagery
at this point
you're allowed to get
what you want or
just go home
off the Baltic coast
my palms are tired
hoping the immigrants
are happy
toes in the sand
hands on the rocks
my thoughts almost
on yo
"You still haven't told me what we're doing out here." Maybe I want to know but its just as likely that the answer will bore me. Maybe it just flat out doesn't matter. My toes are cold and that blanket draped over my head has that odd mix of damp and freezing that normally only happens after a rainstorm in mid-July to August. I don't see how you can stand to be laying on your stomach. The roof of our building is mildly filthy. To the point where you could make constellations out of the worn and bleached patches of gum.
tonight I will fall
asleep in the vineyard while
my hair is still damp
from kissing you in
the river.
The Rhine: 'I want to
swim down the center of it
and not know if the
water I'm drinking is französisch
or allemande'
you stated.
I don't write about
you to stop from glorifying you.
the way you laugh
when my hands start shaking.
I tell you how fond I am of empires.
I want you to baptize
me king in the red and white
wines of the coronation fountain.
we don't have a language.
we are a language.
'knight' is a synonym
for 'always drowning'
and when I come to
bed I breathe in wheat
instead of grapes from you.
tonight
when i start to
crave the classics i
begin to worry.
it's a mood that finds me
finding beauty in a
bathtub drowning.
knee bruises, blue.
cuticles, blue.
The Emperor Waltz left me
deaf, underwater.
our sheets feel like
the back garden now while
i put those nerves
to rest.
after all, i am still
trying to convince you
i'm a butterfly.
i'll never fly again
if you touch me
now, kiss me now.
but i watch our toes
tangle at the end
of the bed now.
maybe because i
love a good lie.
gently you insist to
me that we are not
butterflies, though i never
said you were one.
gently you insist to
me that we are hooded,
carrion cr
yesterday, around midday,
i hid in your closest full
of linen, Russian bears,
German eagles.
this is how i know it
was you who put
the butterfly
ornaments on the battlefield.
and this
is how i know 'without worries'
makes you cry.
The night is hot-
my cigarettes are lit
here's to hoping the
radio remembers the
west
before its too late
before satellite dishes
will be parachutes used
to bomb
'die Kapitalisten'
in this ugly city
where my grandfather
spat at stones for a
living
we're stuck in
marching time
in '89
we are stuck
with little ghosts
and aluminum change
but tonight i
know we're tearing
down that wall just
to feel good.
---Is That There Are No Herring Here Or There.
1.
--There's nothing out there. He says to me. And I look at him as though he is stupid. Maybe not stupid. Maybe that is too harsh. But I do not look at him as though he knows entirely what is going on.
-- What do you mean? I ask. Oh how silly of me to always ask. Because when do I ever get an answer?
-- I mean, there is nothing out there. And this he repeats stubbornly as though I am the stupid one, not him. But he is really. He's the stupid one with a head full of nonsense and stupid ideas that will not get him anywhere. That is really why I fell in love him. I think that is th
there is a place off the
Baltic coast with
grey green sand or
green grey sand
and here you take
what makes me inside
here you paint me red
or jealous
and here you steal
my chemosynthesis
and this is how
the dialect dies
the walls teach me
where the paint goes
if i'm honest
i was brutally honest
with my coffee this morning
this is when the
kidney lines up with the
liver and
we fit together
i am at a loss for imagery
at this point
you're allowed to get
what you want or
just go home
off the Baltic coast
my palms are tired
hoping the immigrants
are happy
toes in the sand
hands on the rocks
my thoughts almost
on yo
in seven years i have been a juggernaut
tonight i am-
have decided to
ask:
if you know my colors
about the pear tree your neighbor kissed
where the apricot jam is
and i won't care-
have decided not to care:
if the finches have migrated
about the king's crown
and
the queen's skirt
if you are singing along
with the herald in the
square
who cries:
"much tried austria
they try you still."
in seven days i will be a breath
Just completed my mid-term portfolio for my advanced writing course. Well holy hell, my fingers hurt. I'll learn not to procrastinate some day.
I haven't written anything in months and I'm slowly going nuts because of it. Normally there's a line or something drifting around my head and I can sit down and the rest just comes naturally like it was waiting for me to type. But there's nothing waiting there right now. I guess I know they'll come back eventually because they always do. I just nervous waiting. Especially over long periods of time.
I almost bought an atlas of the world from '27 in a small bookstore. But decided against it on the basis that staring at maps of how the world used to look might turn in to an unhealthy habit.
But I'm a year older now and life isn't bad.
kinda feel like starting a new account. i have digital commitment issues.
on the other hand: updates.
putting all the old stuff in to storage too.